I thought there is only one angel existing in this planet. i should have realized that there are many. and we are able to attract them. there were a couple of wise friends saying, the person you are looking for already exists. you just have not met yet. it is only the question of time when you will meet. be patient. he will come when it is time. and so he did. the greatest treasure of my life. the dream. the reality.


and he also brought all the answers with him to my questions. because time was right now. because i had to prove already at the beginning that i want him and i am sacrifising for him. so i did. because i knew that he is the person i was looking for.


my little copypaste. so alike. and still so different. but the man, who click the list wholly.

Wedding memoire

Elozo nyaron ugy dontottunk Nemetorszagban nyaralunk. Munchenbe erve borzaszto fogadtatasban volt reszunk. A szallas koszos, budos, lepukkant volt. Azonnal elmenekultunk egy hotelbe. persze anyagilag nem igy terveztuk de minden penzt megert az uj hely. Masnap egesz napos kastelylatogast es varosnezest szerveztunk es este elobukkant egy gyuru. innentol kezdve egyenes volt az ut. Februar 15 volt a datum amit bevesettunk kozel 130 ember naptaraba. a matyas templomban akartunk ceremoniat amit szinte lehetetlen lefoglalni nyaron, es amugy sem akartunk egy evet tolteni a szervezkedessel.
oktoberben kezdodott a ruha valogatas. millio fajta es fele van, szinte mar a boseg zavara is. kb 35 ruhabol lett kivalasztva egy amit a varrono scratchbol varrt. A gyonyorusegesnel is gyonyorubb volt, hibatlan darab, kozel 7 kg anyaggal. 7 reteg tul, csipke, szaten, 1 meter uszallyal, amit fel lehet csatolni tancolashoz. imadtam!


decemberben azert mar erzodott egy altalanos feszultseg a keszulodes korul. mindenki a legjobbat akarta. egyeb nem vart kulso tenyezok mint egy koronavirus kockaztatta az utazast az utolso pillanatban. volt par pillanat amikor azt ereztem egesz europaban is le fogjak allitani a repuloket. aztan vegul megis csak elindulhattuk.


igy egy hettel az eskuvo elott indultunk haza. igen am, csak kozben elvesztettuk a szallasunkat, igy 2 nappal az utazas elott nem volt biztos hogy lesz hol laknunk. anya segitsegevel kaptunk egy alomszep lakast egy hetre, rogton a kovetkezo sarkan a gangnak. tagas, szep, modern, tiszta lakas vart. ott aztan vendeg csokolade ajandekok keszultek, tanc gyakorlas ment, es szulo ajandekokat is keszitettunk. izgalmas volt jo ertelemben de tele kiszamithatatlan nehezsegekkel. anya es mama hotelben haromszori etkeztetesben volt reszunk, nagy segitseg volt. baratunk beszerezte a plusz alkoholt, volt dekoros csapatunk apa szemelyeben, ajandekkeszito csapatunk, varrocsapat, papirdekoracios csapat. kulsos szolgatatokbol kozel 30an dolgoztak a mi napunkon.


csutortokon aztan megerkezett a fonokom a felesegevel. o egy abszolut elragado jelenseg. ejjel kimentunk ertuk a repterre aztan penteken delben veluk ebedeltunk. igazan nagyon jo tarsasag voltak. aznap meg egy kicsit szorakoztattuk oket aztan hulla faradtan elmentunk a regota kiszemelt hotelunkbe. igen am, csak mikor odaertunk meg a muncheni szallasnal is rosszabb korulmenyek fogadtak. dohos, regi, kopott hotelszoba, lemallo falak es szappan nelkuli furdoszoba. ott aztan osszeomlottam. az en eskuvomet nem fogjuk ilyen ocska korulmenyek kozott tartani. es azonnal panaszt tettunk. a hotel tele volt es nem tudtak atrakni. a recepcios tanacsa az volt hogy reggel kerdezzem meg hogy van-e uresedesuk. na de uram, az eskuvom napja holnap van...
nem volt mas megoldas mint elhagyni a helyszint es atkoltozni a templomtol 100m-re levo hotelbe. Ez igazan jo megoldasnak tunt es meg jobban is jott ki a szolgaltatoinknak. az aprocska hotelszobaban visszaszamoltuk az orakat igy aztan keveset aludtunk.


reggel ereztem; ez a nap csodalatos lesz. 7-kor mar a taxiban ultem es sebesen robogtam a fodrasz fele. igen gyorsan elkeszitette a hajam igy gyorsan visszarobogtam a hotelbe, kozben mindenkinek igyekeztem elmeselni a borzaszto hotel elmenyeimet.
aprocska hotelszobankba 10 ora korul mar 7-en voltunk, a fotosok megorokitettek a keszulodeseket, aztan magamra hagytak az egyetlen koszoruslanyommal. harombol 2 beteg lett es egyik sem latta elozoleg hogyan kell befuzni a ruhamat. csinaltunk egy  video guideot ami vegulis hasznos segitseg volt es egesz jol ram sikerult kotni a ruhat. a mellekhelyseg hasznalata igazan kalandos volt.
szoval ezzel meg is volnank, februar kozepen 10 fokban es napsutesben fotozkodtunk a varos legcsodalatosabb pontjan a budai varnegyedben. turistak zome vett minket korbe es azon gondolkodtunk mikor kezdjuk el gyujteni az eurot a paparazzi fotokert cserebe. nagyon vicces volt mikor beszoltak: "ez nem lehet igazi menyasszony, nem latod h modellek!"
igazabol a hideget sem ereztem, volt meg egy orank pihenni a templom elott es akkor ereztem hogy ez nagy dolog, a gyomrom osszeszorult a gondolattol hogy 150 ember var ram a templomban, es argus szemekkel fognak ram nezni mikor belepek.
kozben megerkezett a menyasszonyi csokrom is es par ember kivetelevel mindenki a templomban ult.
sosem fogom elfelejteni azt az erzest amikor a templomba leptunk apaval. nem tudom milyen zene szolt, nem tudom hany perc telt el, de igazan meghato volt latni a sok embert akiknek fontosak voltunk es eljottek miattunk. ez volt a legemlekezetesebb pillanat az eskuvon. latni a mamak arcat es anyaet. ertem orultek es miattam.




mindig is azt gondoltam hogy egy eskuvo nem annyira fontos, de most igy utolag mindent maskent latok. igenis nagyon fontos es egy felejthetetlen elmeny marad.

The biggest achievement of my life

I used to be more genuine in my writing then I grew up. So only the pure facts come out from now on.
I do believe that I achieved the biggest thing in my life. With my Brother I managed to sell my mother's house. It was almost a 10 year Project so to say. As we knew 10 years ago that the bank took its hand on it and only one person has the right to sell it. She not only took it as a persona attack and offence that we wanna help selling but also screamed and yelled at us for hours every time when the topic came up. so the case ended up in auction by bailiff. we had 3 weeks to go. impossible right?


How did I get to know about the auction? Out of the blue my uncle called me: "did you know that your mother's house is on auction?" I immediately called my brother who - I learnt weeks later - collapsed. 3 weeks of "supposed to be" xmas holiday got extended to 5 weeks and from the first day till the last I was talking to lawyers,bailiff, bank, real estate. We went to bailif to ask what is the status...very complicated burocratic process and eventually they said you can pay anytime before auction ends. so with the 3 weeks in our heads, my brother figured out that selling is possible and he quickly submitted an ad. within 3 days 2 customers appears. I didnt know if i am a girl or boy I was so surprised/happy/anxious. we managed to arrange to show the house without mother noticing...kinda fooled process already but we had to do it. Then one of the customers said yes!
So we told mother and she said NO WAY I am selling the house. never...and kept yelling for hours. this was repeated with my father present and just me alone with her...I started to be afraid. So my father said give up, she will never sign the papers...
dont say give up to me, coz i upset myself. I dont know what is never!
I was thinking what is the catch that could work. I went to her calm and friendly, said we are one team and we solve problems together, so listen to me. we figure out how to sell and move out so that it is good for everyone. and she said YES! i was like..........
I will never forget that moment when she said yes. We worried though that we are too late with the papers and customer went. So the real estate chick said higher price compared to the original and they still wanted. but to manage the whole shit....I was telling my brother what to say to the real estate agent and customer, I was telling mother to do what we say. Both were low with energy. I felt everything is on my shoulders. but i wont give up.
customer came again with stonemansons to check each corner and then final confirm the offer. there was again the risk that they cancel. but they didnt!
And again mother and signing papers, asking stupid questions, almost revealed that we slipped a couple of things...
we managed...with a lot of more complications, paperwork, bailif visits.

I will never forget what we did with my brother. This was almost equal to impossible...

I am changing. My personality has developed. I see the world and people different. I appreciate different things. I want to have a family. Without admitting this is my life goal. Maybe because it is so difficult to achieve. I want to carry a child under my heart and I want to have that saint feeling that I become a mother. ..

My amazing grandmother

My dear amazing grandmother. She is the strongest person I ever knew with the best attitude you could obtain. She is noble and humble with an angel heart who is always optimistic and generous to all. I will respect your decisions and remember your wise words. Simple but wise words. You set an example for all.

Mi a blog ertelme?

Az ilyesfajta blog ertelme mint ez amibe irogatjuk a kusza gondolatainkat erthetetlen bekezdeseknek tunhet masok szamara. nem masoknak irodik na. 10 eve kezdodtek a bejegyzesek es a mai napig visszaolvasom oket. Probalom szamszerusiteni menyit fejlodott a helyesirasom. pozitiv vagy negativ iranyba. megfelelo alahuzando. azt is probalom elemezni hogy valtozott a kommunikacios keszsegem de mivel tipikus kritikus ember vagyok azert meg nem vagyok kozel sem az elegedettsegi lepcso also fokaihoz.


Tokmindegy amugy hogy van-e onbizalmunk, csak azt kell mutatni masoknak hogy persze hogy van. manapsag mindent el kell adni, leginkabb a szart. es hat sokat nagyon jol nyomjak, szoval ha meg az idiotaknak is megy akkor nekem is. Csak az orok jeg es ho fogsagaban az ember termeszete elkezd a compliant fele valtozni. Marmint hogy itt minden szabalyt betartunk, mert akkor is meglesz mindenunk, akkor sem less kevesebb sikerunk. En mar nem tudok szinesiteni, felturbozni...azt mondom ami van. Tiszta unalmas de tobbe kevesbe mukodik. Par embernek nem tetszett szal azok pl nem beszelnek velem de hat knszl. (knszl lasd kesobb, ez egy szalonkepes blog kerem szepen).


Visszaterve a blog ertelme, ez egy onismereti eszkoz. Olyan mint amikor kis idiota tinidzser voltam es arrol irtam hogy mennyire idegesitett amikor valakinek uj ruhaja lett a gimiben. Csak most arrol irok h mennyire idegesit hogy az emberek kepen mas van mint a fejukben. De ez a vilag rendje, felesleges probalni megerteni....

how it all started

When you feel like you are in the best place with the best team, doing the best work. And suddenly everything turns upside down. I was happily sitting and arranging the week 100 shipments at Siemens and hopping all over the building as I was working for 3 departments. everyone knew my name...also because probably I was the only foreigner in the building who could speak Finnish. My Estonian friend dropped me a message that Stora Enso is looking for an assistant in the sustainability team. My response was: "come on" I just graduated with almost 2 years of experience in a huge company...why should I be an assistant again. But sometime you need to take a step back to reach the next level. God knows why. I happily (still happily) rephrased my CV and handed in but didn't hear anything still December. So I went on holiday with my first interview completed and noted that I am overqualified for the position. But at least the interviewers were nice.


Strangely I got an email that I should revisit their head office again to meet the EVP. I have never heard that title before so I googled the guy and it seemed to me that he is quite high level so I started to be scared. On the interview day it took me 1.5h to complete the 40min trip that also resulted in doing a sprint in the last 1km. So arriving soaked hot-n-cold they smiled at me and asked to start the hearing. The EVP guy was nice, his first question was why are you here? you are overqualified.
:D thank god actually you invited me! His sarcastic intelligent humor got me immediately. I didn't feel anymore that we are at an interview. It was just a casual talk about my life. Very interesting questions and he gave me the impression immediately that he wants me.


So I stepped out of the building with a huge smile and just noted to myself that I am going to work in this place soon. When he called me to tell that I can start next month and if I commit to his team he will help me to build my career I could not stop crying. I was the happiest person in my life and I will never forget that moment. And it was too late for Siemens to offer me a full-time permanent job anymore.


It has been two years since I am in SE. with the best boss and best small boss. I know the people I need to know and I work in an amazing place. But I learnt. My career is in my hands.
Now only need to figure out how to make the most out of this great opportunity.